Rangers of Konoha
by hackerkiba
Summary: A GitS/Stargate/Naruto crossover. What would Ba'al do with magical ninjas? Even better, what would an SG team(featuring characters from GitS) from Stargate Command would be able to do with magic ninjas? See how SGC and Ba'al schemes to save the world...or conquer it.
1. Prologue

**Rangers of Konoha: Prologue**

Inside the chamber of one Goa'uld spaceship orbiting Dakara, is Ba'al, the last of the Goa'uld system lords. He is frantically pressing buttons on a strange device that has come into possession. Meanwhile blasts of plasma and the thuds of bullets bleed through his chamber.

"Damn it! This better work. I can't be taken prisoner by the damn Tau'ri," Ba'al mutters. "They're liable to hand me over to the Jaffa to be tortured for life."

The temperature in the chamber increases, making Ba'al's host body all sweaty. By now, Ba'al fingers are bleeding from overuse.

Without a warning, an explosion cuts through a hole within one of the wall. A strange multi-legged robot enters. Ba'al decides to hit the master start button and hopes for the best. He has no idea what it do, but he hopes to either die a painless death or obliterate his enemy.

"Gottach," the robot says in a squeaky childish female voice. "Hehe!" The spider walker/wheeled robot fires its machine gun at Ba'al, but Ba'al manages to duck at the last second.

"Hey, no fair!" the robot says in an angry tone. Ba'al grabs his submachine gun that he stolen from the Tau'ri. He momentarily feels gratitude that he uses the much superior although primitive weapons rather than the staff weapons other smug Goa'uld uses.

A loud burp from his gun sends bullets toward the menacing robot. The robot dodges to the right, forcing Ba'al to miss entirely. He quickly ducks down and throw a few flashdrones toward the robot.

The drones bath the robot with intense light, confusing its sensor.

"Oof!" the robot can only say. Ba'al takes a potshot. More bullets ring out, only to miss again.

"Missed me! Hehe." Ba'al growls at the taught. "DIE YOU MEANIE!" The robot fires it weapon while it looks for cover.

Batou and the rest of Section 9 enters the fray with multiple dynamic entries, punching holes into the chamber, along with more homicidal robots.

Surrounded on all side, Ba'al reflexively surrenders. He mentally berates himself for getting captured, but that could not stop his mouth speaking for preservation of his life.

"I gi-"

Suddenly the machine whirls to life, filling the chamber with white lights. Unfortunately, it didn't do what Ba'al asks.

-o0o0o0o0o0o0o-  
**Orochimaru's Secret Base**  
**Naruto's Planet**

-o0o0o0o0o0o0o-

As soon as the light show ended, the dazzled Ba'al tries to open up his eyes. He can't see worth a damn. Though he feels very warm and comfortable. It's so nice he doesn't want to leave. If Ba'al could smile, he'll be doing it now. Alas, he's only a baby inside his mother's womb.

Unfortunately, the universe has other plans. Then a loud muscle contraption interrupts his peace.

"What the hell? WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY PEACE!" he thinks but all he could do is let out a loud gurgles. Then more contraption happens. Ba'al for the second time in a very short time period feels very terrified.

"Please no! Forgive me!" he cries out to the ascended. Then he can feel his lower body freezing.

On the higher plane, the ascended ancient only chuckles evilly at Ba'al's helpless state, satisfied that he got what he deserve, for the time being.

"BRRR. I am cold! I don't want to be let out."

Within a few minute, his body feels absolutely cold. He's absolutely naked and afraid, letting out a large wail. Then a giant covers him with a blanket and begins to speak a weird language. He picks the baby up away from the mother.

"Now, my dear, you will be the successor to my legacy!" Orochirmaru promises. Ba'al doesn't understand a damn thing, but he is horrified by the snaky tongue that just came out.

"Unhand me you snake giant!" Ba'al tries to say to no effect. Then he takes a good at his hands. They were chubby and small.

"Eww! This host is ugly! Maybe I could use the snake giant as a host? Maybe it won't work, but I rather die than be in this ugly body."

He tries to get out of the host's head. Nothing happens. Huh? Wait a minute! For some reason, it finally drawn on Ba'al that he isn't inhabiting a host body, but that he is the host. He doesn't know how he knows, but he just knows. The idea absolutely horrifies him more than the snaky giant.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" he screams. All that Orochirmaru can hear is a loud wail.

"Oh my, getting fussy a little here?" Orochirmaru talks to the baby. "Let me hand you back to your mother." Once Ba'al is back with his "mother", he can only comply.

"Dear," the blue haired mother asks of the baby. "What would you want to be named?"

"Of course, it's Ba'al! Damn it woman, you better name me that!" Another wail comes from Ba'al. "Damn it! Why can't I speak? Wait I can speak and understand what this giant says?"

"I know! Akumestu!"

"Hey! That's better! I am wrong, and I shall accept this name." Then the women begin to speak something Ba'al can't understand. To his frustration, Ba'al wonders why he suddenly can't understand the damn woman. He also wonders why think of the purple head as his mother.

-o0o0o0o0o0o0o-  
**Konoha**  
**At the very same time**

-o0o0o0o0o0o-

Meanwhile in Konoha, a whole set of babies got born into the orphanage and into families. They too suffer through the humiliation and pain that is the birthing process.

Nearby though, a kitsune mother gives birth to a bunch of homicidal childish kits, with a natural sense of where their owners from the previously life are.

"Boys and girls, drink, eat, sleep all you want as much as you want," the fox mother announces. "For it's only a short time before you begin your training as a proper kitsune in the art of eating and drinking and stealing from humans all without getting caught."

The kits squeal in anticipation that they will learn something so useful for their human masters. Then they suddenly forget what the kitsune just told them.

-o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o-  
**Just Outside Konoha**  
**At the very same time**

-o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o-

A loud wave of mysterious energy cross the landscape, perking up a small midget with primitive clothes and a head full of growing plants.

"I sense a disturbance in the force," the Nox notes.


	2. Chapter 1: Kusanagi

Rangers of Konoha Chapter 1

-o0o0o-  
Konoha Orphanage  
Day 1 of Reincarnation  
-o0o0o-

Major Motoko Kusanagi, leader of Section 9, member of SATO Tier Zero special force operators, and personal slayer of many high ranking Goa'ulds. Only now that she is reduced to a tiny body looking up to giants, unable to do anything. Damn that bastard! Damn that mission!

She thought she was in a hospital, but the lack of medical equipments and beeping monitors tell her otherwise. She didn't even have her cyberbrain implant. No, she is in a crib with other fricking babies. Then there's the fact she's completely alone. Maybe she's not, but her teammates are probably unable to communicate with her.

One of the baby's arm hits her right in the tiny face. She whimpers a little bit, but then she reins in her emotion successfully. Summoning more giants to her would be a bad idea. Then she drifts off to sleep.

A baby in its early day sleeps, cries, smiles, drinks, and poops a lot. The major is no exception.

Thirty minute later, she awakes to extreme hunger. Unable to articulate her demand, she cries loudly. That got one of the giants to pick her up and feed her baby milk.

"Grumpy baby, aren't you?" a caretaker sweet talks. The major attempts to scowl at the caretaker, but that only results in her wailing. Then that cause the caretaker to rock her body, freaking the major out. The major tries to calm herself, but it only results in more wailing.

Bored out of her mind in being unable to do anything, she acts like a good baby and tries to sleep a lot, bidding her time until somebody gets her mind into her real body or the time she can start crawling and learn more about the world.

-o0o0o-  
Konoha Orphanage  
94 days since reincarnation  
-o0o0o-

Fast forward three months of nonstop pooping, sleeping, eating, and doing nothing much else. By this time, the major is absolutely bored out of her skull. Her caretakers still not realize that she is not a baby, but an adult. That is both a good and bad thing. She needs entertainment worthy of an adult, but nobody is ever going to provide her that. If they realized that she's an adult, she could be in deep trouble. Perhaps, the most extreme outcome will be death. That's not a certainty from what little she knows of this particular culture, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

That being said, she reaches a new milestone! Her body can crawl now!

But the poor soldier is still stuck in her crib. She is able to roll and crawl, but not do much else. With no hope of rescue, she determines that she must do everything herself. Thus, the baby attempts to keep standing up, only to crash down into the soft bed. By sheer force of will, she keep repeating her actions.

Unfortunately, the purple head fails to realize that her effort attracts the caretakers' attention. One individual turns to a few, and then into a crowd in short order. By the time she notices, the adults chant and cheers her on. Oops.

So, the baby stops her attempt.

"Oh come on, why did you stop?" one of the female caretakers protest. "Do it! Do it! Do it!"

"Look, I adopt you if you please stand up, pretty please?" a male entices. The former cyborg refuses the bait.

She sits emotionlessly, staring at the chanting and cheering caretakers. Then she wails. A blue hair female caretaker picks her up and hold the major against the hip.

"Shhhh," the caretaker tries to comfort her. As if almost on cue, the major stops crying. Then the caretaker carefully puts the baby down in the crib.

"Um, everyone? I think the baby girl don't like the attention?" the bluehead suggests. The adults look at each other.

"Alright, I guess we disperse. We can cheer her on when she's not looking," one of the adult concedes. Then the adults disperse.

Motoko successfully cons her first adult. Now, all she has to do is not let the adults see her practicing her standing.

-o0o0o0o-  
97 days after reincarnation  
-o0o0o0o-

The babies in Motoko's generation are all able to crawl now. Everyday, the adults release the babies into a restricted area full of baby shinobi toys. There the babies can crawl to their heart content. Motoko does not realize right away the significance of such toys. Instead, she hunts down every picture books and devour the information for all what it's worth.

"Propaganda, and more propaganda! Blah!" Motoko mutters to herself. Then she scans the parameter for any signs of adults. She doesn't want them to know that she is fully capable of speaking Japanese. Better she internalizes her thought into her mind.

If there's any puppet show or storytelling time, she sits through the mind numbing storytelling session, gaining information on how important ninjas really are. Only, the ninjas don't act like real ninjas, spies, or even special force operators. The girl dismisses it as simply propaganda or a quirk of children stories, seeing how ninjas basically appear in every picture books she ever look at.

Other than that, she carefully observes the adults' interaction, and she tries to pick up on their conversations with each other.

The bluehead takes notice of Motoko's love for pictures book and so they pile on her more and more picture books with no writing whatsoever. Frankly, she's getting tired of it.

She needs to practice standing up a lot tonight so that she could get to the interesting books a lot faster.

-o0o0o0o0o-  
123 days after reincarnation  
-o0o0o0o0-

Finally! Motoko can stand up on her own! She takes a step, only to wobble down into the crib bed. She sighs at the fact that she has a long way to go. The major looks longly at the window into the night sky.

"I want to go home!" she says out loud. The other babies hear nothing.

-o0o0o0o-  
140 days after reincarnation  
-o0o0o0o-

A strange and powerful demonic energy sweeps through the heart of Konoha. Toddlers and babies, feeling the malicious energy, wake up crying loudly. A siren sounds. The adults, tired and groggy rushes toward the toddler rooms and pick them up. Several ninjas show up, helping the civilians whisk away the children safely to a new location.

Motoko is very terrified when one of the ninja, a teenage cyclop silver hair person, carries her like she's a non-fragile object. The ninja quickly jumps from one rooftop to the next in quick succession. After a few minutes of roof jumping, she and her protector arrives at a mountain cave. The ninja nonchalantly throws Motoko to the next ninja.

"Oh my god!" she yells. Thankfully, it's only baby speak, so no one notices anything strange. The adult ninja that caught her gives a momentarily puzzled look. Then he resumes catching more babies from arriving ninjas.

-o0o0o0o-  
143 days after reincarnation  
-o0o0o0o-

Despite the fact that she basically got manhandled by child endangering ninjas, Motoko is glad to have further learn the lay of the land as opposed to getting more information from boring picture books. She collects her thought on a moon less night, thinking through everything she has seen. There are poles, wooden buildings, and lights of some kind. Some looks Japanese, and some looks more like western buildings. Then there's soldiers and civilians who evacuate to what looks like caves. The soldiers are apparently able to jump from rooftop to rooftop without missing a beat, and they can catch children without breaking them.

"Perhaps, they are ninjas," Kusanagi mumbles to herself.

Whatever happens three days ago is something big. She doesn't know, but from what she gathers, it's something called the "Kyuubi". Motoko files that information away for later reflection or when she gathers more clues.


	3. Chapter 2: Sasuke is Togusa

Rangers of Konoha Chapter 2

-o0o0o-  
218 days after reincarnation  
Uchiha Compound  
-o0o0o-

Whoever's job is to reincarnate Togusa botched it up, because he still remember his former life. His daughter, wife, and everyone he ever knows or ever care about are all gone. It sucks and depress him to no end. He curses the ascended for not doing anything or possibly having a hand in this.

He has to play the baby boy born to the Uchiha clan. It seems that they're well respected. At least they aren't stuffy. Plus, he ain't Togusa anymore. It's Sasuke now. An ok name he supposes.

In the middle of the dark and cool Uchiha complex, Togusa sits in his playpen bored out of his mind. Like Kusanagi, all the books he has access to are picture books, without words.

A little boy, his big brother, most likely, approaches the toddler. He has a book in his hand.

"Hey, little brother, want me to read it with you?" his big brother asks. Togusa obliges.

"Yes?" he tries to say in a child-like squeak. It still comes out as baby-speak. The little boy smiles, poking Togusa's forehead.

"Weird," Togusa thinks to himself.

The little boy opens up the book and begins to read to the toddler, this time with actual words and letters. Only that it's a different writing system altogether than what he's used to, despite the similarity to Chinese characters. Damn! Togusa will have to learn how it works from scratch. He hopes it won't be like his birth culture's overly complicated writing systems, which takes year to learn.

-o0o0o-  
246 days after reincarnation  
-o0o0o-

During one of Itachi's training session, his mother and his younger brother settles down on the porch to watch him train. HIs mother wraps around little Sasuke like a blanket. Sasuke watches his big brother throws shurikens after shurikens.

Togusa has to admit. He likes being mama's boy, especially the warmth and softness his mother provides.

"Look, Itachi is training," his mother points out the obvious. Obvious for a newborn, but not so for an adult mind. Frankly, he wishes the adults talk normally rather than talk simplified Japanese, but he has to endure lest they find out. Bad things tend to happen when humans confront the unknown. He knows that from the exploration department, who are still discovering their scattered cousins across the cosmos. A few of those first contact situations admittedly went FUBAR.

"Sasuke-chan, someday, you're going to grow up to be a great ninja!"

"Hn," Sasuke snaps. Oops. For whatever reason, his self-control is shot to hell. Luckily, the mother fails to understand his remark.

It's very obvious that he's born to a clan that specialized in war. That much is easily deduced with all the conversations and clues he has gathered so far. What it's definitely not, is a ninja clan. He sees ninja stories, but they aren't really ninjas. Sure, they have some tricks in their arsenal that could make them into ninjas of old. Even the SATO military as a whole is more ninja than those warriors in the stories. Instead, they use strength and techniques more often than they use deception and subterfuge. Those "ninjas" are more like martial art soldiers who can perform magical feats.

Suddenly, Itachi performs a fireball justu, interrupting his monologue for a little bit.

"Whoa!" he shouts out loud. His baby voice turns that into a non-phrase. Now he has proof that this jutsu thing is very real and that magic martial art warriors exist.

"Shhhhhh," his mother tries to calm the baby down. She pats and rubs her son's body. Sasuke resumes his monologue as he absent minded watches his brother train.

Still, being born to a ninja clan has one big definite downside. His option is limited. He can't be a detective or anything like that before he got himself recruited into SATO special forces. Nor can he becomes a doctor, engineer, mathematician, or anything else. He scowls his face at the ascended beings for granting him the misfortune of being born to a "ninja" clan.

There's "nobility" and "honor" to serve humanity with SATO, furthering his species in their aspiration much like the fictional United Federation of Planets did, only on a different scale. But such noble things are not likely when you're born to a warrior clan on a backwater world. Most likely, his clan and his family will be involved in helping whatever warlord they serve becomes the momentarily master of their domain.

Sasuke sulks under the weight of the injustice of being reborn to a crapsack planet. His training kicks in, forcing him to flush the self-pity that he placed upon himself. Steely resolve fills his eyes. He'll find peace for his corner of the world and protect his family, even if he inevitably fails in the process.

-o0o0o0o0o-  
288 days after reincarnation  
-o0o0o0o0o-

HIs mom and dad and Togusa himself has the whole house to themselves, which is a rarity. He decides that this is the perfect opportunity to speak his "first word".

"Tou-san!" Sasuke says. His father grabs the toddler and lifts him up rapidly in joy. HIs mother on the hand proceeds to tell everyone in the clan district that Sasuke spoke his first word. Oops. He has intended to indulge his parents sooner or later with the perfect word for them, either "tou-san" or "kaa-san". After all, he finally acquired the ability to speak perfect Japanese just two weeks ago. But never in a million year would he predicted that his mother would act like this.

A huge crowd gathers just outside the room from the many voices that he is able to hear. Shit. He wonders if his self-control is any good.

-o0o0o0o-  
300 days after reincarnation  
-o0o0o0o-

So far, he has survived many emotional events that would spark him to speak full intelligible Japanese by nearly exhausting his reserve of self-control, but the threat of being found out stresses out Togusa. At first, it starts with hand shaking. Then it worsen to his stomach feeling very irritated. Now, Togusa is constantly trembling.

"What's wrong?" his mother asks in a worrying tone. Togusa can see the black bags forming under her eyes.

"Nothing wrong," he says in his mind.

"You're being silly," his father reminds his mother. "His first word is only a week ago and he's not going to be able to speak a great deal. Anyway, I believe we should make an appointment with a doctor."

"Alright," his mother concedes.

Shit. More opportunities for discovery. He better get on with the mediation program that he learnt a lifetime ago to add more self-control and to calm himself down.


End file.
